The exclamation mark key on computers really ought to come with a warning label: Use liberally in texts, emails, and social media. Do not use without proper instruction in manuscripts, essays, and articles. It’s a strange phenomenon that punctuation so essential to casual communication (Have you ever sent a congrats text without an exclamation?) would be so fraught when used in more formal writing.

The writers of Seinfeld illustrated the nuances of this punctuation in an episode where Elaine dates an author she edits at a publishing house. He takes a phone message from Elaine’s friend saying that she delivered her baby. When he writes the message without an exclamation point, it rubs Elaine the wrong way. She subsequently gets revenge by inserting an abundance of inappropriate exclamation points in the author’s manuscript, which gets her into trouble at work.  

Memoir, more than any other book genre (except maybe children’s books), invites the overuse of exclamation points. I believe this happens for two reasons. First, you’re writing your own stories, the same ones you’ve told at dinner parties using inflection and volume changes for effect. To convey this same emotion in the writing of your story, it’s tempting to use exclamation points.

Second, authors writing their life stories often experience a powerful need for readers to understand the importance of what they’ve been through. To emphasize their points, the urge to use an exclamation mark can be irresistible.

Overuse of exclamation marks is a tell-tale sign of an amateur writer. Deciding when to use an exclamation mark can be tricky and is best left to a good editor. As a writer, you’re always safe when you choose to leave them out.

I like to think of exclamation marks as a tool to shape the tone of a piece or inform the author’s voice. I do not use them to communicate the substance or meaning of a story. If an event in your memoir is exciting or remarkable, readers will understand that simply by reading it. If you want to convey your attitude about an event, you might use an exclamation point.

Here are some examples similar to ones in a biographical essay I edited:

“I found, believe it or not, seventeen classical music pieces used on The Green Hornet and twenty on The Lone Ranger!”

This sentence describing a young boy’s accomplishment does not require an exclamation point. The readers will understand that it’s impressive because of the specific details provided, and “Believe it or not” conveys how the author feels about this feat.

“My anxiety continued through adulthood when I had to make a speech. Although, when leading a conference for CEOs of major corporations, I am completely comfortable. Go figure!”

I’m okay with this exclamation mark because it tells the reader about the author’s personality and his attitude towards his problems . He admits his faults but doesn’t let them get him down. The exclamation informs tone and voice. That said, removing the exclamation would not be a mistake here.

“Let’s get started. At the end, I’ll give you my takeaways and my perspective on life!”

The author meant to convey enthusiasm, but this feels more like yelling at the reader. Because the exclamation mark follows a standard introductory sentence, it doesn’t reveal much about the author’s personality. If you’ve given readers a juicy introduction, they will feel excited to proceed even without this exclamation mark.

An exception to the rule against exclamation points occurs in writing dialogue. As I mentioned, the urge to use this punctuation often stems from our loyalty to how we’ve told a story verbally. We do exclaim when we speak, so it’s fine to put an exclamation mark at the end of dialogue.

One note of caution, however: Try not to use an exclamation along with a dialogue tag that means the same thing. Avoid phrasing like, “ ‘Get out of the water!’ she yelled.” We know she yelled if we have an exclamation point in her dialogue. When possible, don’t use dialogue tags after exclamations.

Less is more with exclamation points, and you rarely go wrong leaving them out. Your writing will come across as more professional without them. Another bonus of being frugal with exclamation points is that when you do use one, it carries more weight.

Many of the authors I work with deliver manuscripts with twenty or more exclamations marks. By the time we’re done editing, we have three at most. Once they’re gone, you don’t miss them.