The Memoir and the Autobiography
What’s the difference? And which one should you write?
Many people use memoir and autobiography interchangeably, and that’s been working for them. But for those brave souls embarking on writing a life story, it helps to better understand the terms. Here I’ll explain the meaning and the vagaries of these labels and then look at which genre is right for you.
An autobiography covers the span of an entire life from birth to present, while a memoir deals with one aspect of your life experience and is usually defined by a time period, event, or theme. For example, a memoir could be the story of your childhood, your summit of Mt. Everest, or your relationship with your mother.
As Judith Barrington explains in Writing the Memoir: From Truth to Art, “an autobiography is the story of a life. Memoir, on the other hand, is a story from a life.” This doesn’t mean that autobiographers include what they ate for breakfast or their class schedule in college—they tie together pivotal moments and influential experiences.
Authors of both kinds of books write in first person and often in chronological order, although memoir writers are more likely to jump around in time. Memoirs today are written like novels, with detailed scenes that show a change in the main character (you!) from beginning to end. Autobiographies can also be emotionally rich and dramatic but usually rely more on narrative and less on scenes and dialogue.
Memoirs written by people you’ve probably never heard of have rocketed onto the bestseller lists in recent years. Educated, Heavy, and Know My Name are some current popular titles. But the only autobiographies for sale at bookstores are penned by famous people: Becoming by Michele Obama and A Promised Land by Barak Obama still sit atop the bestseller list in this smaller category.
Celebrities also write memoirs, of course. Viola Davis’s Finding Me and Jennifer Grey’s Out of the Corner both have “A Memoir” written right on the cover. Yet read the descriptions, and you’ll see that these books tell the authors’ stories from childhood until the present. They could fit into the “autobiography” category, so why call them memoirs? Probably because the authors or the publishers liked the sound of it. Memoirs are hot right now, whereas “autobiography” can sound like what your middle schooler reads for homework.
The term memoir is both trendier and more loosely used than autobiography. It would be incorrect to call the story of one woman’s Peace Corps tour in Africa an autobiography, but almost any kind of life story could be called a memoir, and no one would question it.
And what about the plural “memoirs”? I have heard many a senior citizen wistfully say that one day they will write their memoirs. This term, which now sounds dated, usually means a collection of life stories—beyond the limiting scope of a memoir—that is comparable to an autobiography. But “memoirs” sounds more romantic, right?
Speaking of romance, a note about pronunciation. Too many people, even authors who should know better, talk about their “mem-wah.” They have decided that because the word comes from the French memoire for memory, it must be said in a fancy way that imitates the French. Nope. Memoir is an English word pronounced just as it looks; it rhymes with “film noir.”
So which of these genres is the right one for you? If you write an autobiography, you never need to write another—one and done. Memoir writing, however, can go on and on. You could write a memoir about your love of dogs, another about your time in the Air Force, another about raising a special needs child, and so on.
If you’re near the end of your life and want to record your stories for your family, an autobiography is the way to go. Maybe you’re older but only have one aspect of your life you want to share—the story of your marriage, for example—so a memoir makes more sense. If you’re younger and interested in writing about your life, chances are you have one life-changing experience in mind, so that’s a memoir.
Marion Roach Smith says about memoir, “write from your area of expertise,” and we all have a number of these areas by the time we reach a certain again. Some of them we’ll feel like exploring and some we will not. I am an expert in keeping kids entertained over summer vacation, but I would never write about it because I don’t particularly enjoy it. I would probably choose instead to write about another area of expertise: vegetarian cooking.
Whatever you decide, don’t let the book market inform your choice. Just because only former presidents and chief justices sell their autobiographies at Barnes & Noble doesn’t mean you can’t write one. Yours will just have a different audience—likely your family and friends. While memoirs are also tough to sell to publishers and get into bookstores, many authors have been happy with the results of self-publishing.
Regardless of your choice of genre, writing about your life can be immensely satisfying even if it’s not a bestseller. Since you need to make sense of your life for the reader, you’re forced to make sense of things for yourself. Writing a book is harder than going to therapy, but, in the end, you have a piece of history to leave behind rather than a bill to pay. Good deal.